∂σит тяу αи∂ fιχ мє. . .ι'м иσт вяσкєи

Ok i've just finished my first week at college and I am ill already. It's just a cold but arrghh its horrible and i feel crap. And i need to get rid of it by next week because i have my show.
I was well nervouse bout going to college but i have met loads of people there already and made some good friends.
It has made me so tired though, i have had at least 1 pracitical dance lesson eveyrday and most day's i have had two, sometimes even three! I've only been eating dinner recently but because i have been doing so muhc physical activity during the day and in the evenings as wlel with rehearsals and normal dance classes i am exhausted.
Although today i've forced myself to eat a bit of breakfast and some lunch but i purged, i'm not sure if that counts still? I'm still getting some nutrients into my body i think?? I don't know, but i will have to have dinner tonight.
Because i've been feeling stressed and uptight about college and stuff and juts a bit weird i've s/h quite alot this week (which also isn't good for my show as we have to wear halter neck tops, hopefully make-up will cover them a bit)
It's been good as any cals i have been eating i have almost burnt them all off from dancing, although mayeb not today. But next week witht he show i wont have time to go home inbetween college and doing the show so i wont have mum forcing me to eat dinner so hopefully i should loose a bit of weight next week :)

I have a bad feeling about this wekeedn, i'm not sure why i juts feel as because i'm ill i'm going to be at home and be fed alot :( that will juts make me feel so much worse. . i wish people could see that and not keep force feeding me.

xxx

I'm in a really weird mood today . . i dont know why.
Last night i panicked a bit . got a bit carried away with s/h and think i cut a bit too deep and it woudln't stop bleeding, i am so stupid i know i am. it wouldn't stop for probably about 15mintues and at that time my Mum came into my room to talk to me i was like shit.
But today i am just being weird. . i had a dance rehearsal this morning at 10, it was quite nice because there was only four of us and we just ran through loads of dances. we then had a massive lunch at my dance teachers house and i ate so much, i really wish i didnt, i feel so shit now, but sinse i've got home ive eaten more and more i think i'm confort eating. but why?
i am have eaten sooo much i feel like a fat elephant. why am i being so weak? i shoulnd't be letting myself eat all this.
ahhhhhhhh i'm such a retard

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Well today i got my GCSE results . . they were ok i suppose not as good as they should have been and i was a bit disapointed but i got into college so thats the main thing.
So you would think today should be about me and my "acheivments" wouldn't you. . but no my little brother has to choose today to get caught shoplifting and steal my thunder! I mean what is his problem? He is so stupid. he's never stolen a thing in his life and i dont know why he did, he was onyl with one other friend, his best friend and neither of them would ever steal anything usually. But today they went into Virgin Megastores to try and steal a Simpsons boxset. I mean who does that? How stupid can you get?
I know i sound selfish and everything but i really dont care. Today was meant to be about me but now its all about him. And the worst thing is my Mum feels sorry for him! If it was me she would have hit the roof but no becuase its her angel child who she worships she's just a little bit dissapointed and feels sorry for him for having to go through his "traumatic experience". I mean that is just sucha load of crap.
So when they went out again after telling me all this i binged on half a packet of biscuits then felt bad to i had to purge.
This has been sucha shit week. . . my mood is slipping lower and lower and i dont know how to mae myself feel any better.
And to top it all off, my bestest friend in the worlds boyfriend thinks he has cancer.
Life is great isn;t it.

xXx

I'm confused by this! I dont really understand what i am supposed to write . . do i write about myself or what im feeling at this moment in time. . i dont know. . im confused! lol!

Emily help me lol!

luv u

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